Weep with those who weep

Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep."

I have realized over the past several months how much I am lacking in the area of emotion and empathy. It seems like I live life in "neutral". Experiencing bits and pieces of joy and happiness, bits and pieces of pain and grief. But very, very rarely experiencing true pain, despair. Very rarely experiencing true, abundant joy.

I have always taken it upon myself to be the "steady" one. Perhaps this comes along with the first-born title. Feeling the responsibility to make sure things don't become too chaotic, and emotions don't spin out of control. But because of this mind set, I bury my emotions. Times when I want to respond with an outburst of tears, I will instead remain composed.

And I don't like it.

So my prayer has been that I would be able to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. To feel a full range of emotion, the way that Jesus did while He was on this earth.

For some reason, God seems to be answering this prayer during a season of "weeping".

Family and friends have experienced so much hurt, sorrow and pain in the recent months.

Typically, upon hearing about anothers pain or suffering, I would pray for them, encourage them, etc...but very rarely experienced "weeping with them".

I am thankful...SO thankful, that God is beginning to change and renew this part of my heart.

This may sound strange, but it feels good to hurt :)

I don't know what to title this....

I'm sitting here on a beautiful autumn Sunday afternoon, wanting to write. I don't have anything specific or desperate to share with you, so this will probably just be a collection of random thoughts.

We are resting within the first few days of my favorite season.

The first weeks of autumn after a long midwest summer are always the best. There is something about the cool air that just makes me feel refreshed, makes me feel good and alive. It makes me want to throw on a cozy sweater, grab a coffee and go outside.

Just be outside.

Be surrounded by the colors, the scents, and the sounds of fall. It makes me want to buy Pumpkin Spice candles, and new cozy socks :0)

How sweet of God to give those of us in the midwest this beautiful season, before the curse of winter sets in. lol

Hmmm...the second category that is on my heart today is, Jesus. Well, He's always on my heart, but you know what I mean.

Man oh man, something is changing and stirring inside of me. Jesus is becoming more real. My sin and desperateness for Him is becoming more real. My heart is becoming more real. A heart that beats, and bleeds, and aches and rejoices. It is growing with love for Him. It is responding in ways I have never felt before. I am learning in a deep way, that it's ok to be broken.

Church Planters. Yes, that's what we are. That title is overwhelming. Now that we are past the 6 month mark here in Omaha, I am starting to feel quite nervous about the huge task that is ahead of us. Am I even capable??? That's an entirely separate blog-post!

Babies. My little one Zoe continues to be such a joy in my life. How wonderful to have a little sweetie whose face lights up every time she sees you! Mr. Javen is beautiful and brilliant. He is always amazing me and cracking me up with the things he says and does. I am truly blessed to be a mommy. It is a gift, and I pray I walk this journey of motherhood with abundant grace and joy.

Well, there is a collection of random thoughts for you. Just a little peek into my mind, which seems to be quite a mystery to most people. :0)

Paleo Progress Report

WOW! It's been SO long since my last blog post...time to get back on track!

I wanted to post an update on this (insane) paleo diet that Justin and I have been doing. For those of you who have never heard of it, you can get more info here. It's basically a "cave-man" diet. Meat, veggies, fruit and nuts are about all that's allowed.

I was really hard-core paleo for about the first 5 days, remaining very strict in my eating. But after about the 4th day, I noticed that Zoe started wanting to nurse constantly. This had me concerned that I wasn't getting the necessary carbs/calories that I need while breastfeeding. I didn't want to lose my "milk-supply"! So on day 5, I added one serving of whole grains per day, back into my diet. This is usually either a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, or a sandwich on whole grain bread for lunch. The remainder of my day has stayed very paleo :0)

So here we are at day 10, and I'm 3.4 pounds lighter! I'm feeling pretty good too.

The most difficult part for me is having no dairy (I LOVE milk, and crave it often), and also no sugar has been tricky.

I will continue to post 10 day progress reports!