Birthday Wishes

My golden birthday... 27 on the 27th :) Here are some wishes:

Spring/Summer dresses (Target, Old Navy, size small)

Tan/brown gladiator sandals, size 7

Tropical/fruity candles (from Bath & Body Works!)

"Carried Away" lotion, body spray, etc. (Bath & Body Works)

Bare Minerals Tinted Mineral Veil and blush ("Beauty")

OPI or Essie nail polishes in pastel/summer shades

Blank canvases

The movie "Once"

GiftCards!

- Target

- Old Navy

- Hobby Lobby

- iTunes

- Starbucks

Bedroom Inspiration Board

One of my New Years Resolutions this year is to earn enough money through Eden Accessories, to buy a completely new bedroom for Justin and I. As of today, I am about 25% there. :)

The first week we got married, we took some of our wedding money and headed up to Ikea. We bought a platform bed, bedspread, a dresser and a small wardrobe. This furniture has been great for (almost) 7 years! (wow, that long???) But I think it's time to revamp things a bit.

To give you an idea of what we have had for the past 7 years...blonde maple furniture, bedspread and decor in warm shades of olive, terracotta, brown and gold.

And HERE is inspiration for the new bedroom! Ta-Da

Weep with those who weep

Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep."

I have realized over the past several months how much I am lacking in the area of emotion and empathy. It seems like I live life in "neutral". Experiencing bits and pieces of joy and happiness, bits and pieces of pain and grief. But very, very rarely experiencing true pain, despair. Very rarely experiencing true, abundant joy.

I have always taken it upon myself to be the "steady" one. Perhaps this comes along with the first-born title. Feeling the responsibility to make sure things don't become too chaotic, and emotions don't spin out of control. But because of this mind set, I bury my emotions. Times when I want to respond with an outburst of tears, I will instead remain composed.

And I don't like it.

So my prayer has been that I would be able to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. To feel a full range of emotion, the way that Jesus did while He was on this earth.

For some reason, God seems to be answering this prayer during a season of "weeping".

Family and friends have experienced so much hurt, sorrow and pain in the recent months.

Typically, upon hearing about anothers pain or suffering, I would pray for them, encourage them, etc...but very rarely experienced "weeping with them".

I am thankful...SO thankful, that God is beginning to change and renew this part of my heart.

This may sound strange, but it feels good to hurt :)

I don't know what to title this....

I'm sitting here on a beautiful autumn Sunday afternoon, wanting to write. I don't have anything specific or desperate to share with you, so this will probably just be a collection of random thoughts.

We are resting within the first few days of my favorite season.

The first weeks of autumn after a long midwest summer are always the best. There is something about the cool air that just makes me feel refreshed, makes me feel good and alive. It makes me want to throw on a cozy sweater, grab a coffee and go outside.

Just be outside.

Be surrounded by the colors, the scents, and the sounds of fall. It makes me want to buy Pumpkin Spice candles, and new cozy socks :0)

How sweet of God to give those of us in the midwest this beautiful season, before the curse of winter sets in. lol

Hmmm...the second category that is on my heart today is, Jesus. Well, He's always on my heart, but you know what I mean.

Man oh man, something is changing and stirring inside of me. Jesus is becoming more real. My sin and desperateness for Him is becoming more real. My heart is becoming more real. A heart that beats, and bleeds, and aches and rejoices. It is growing with love for Him. It is responding in ways I have never felt before. I am learning in a deep way, that it's ok to be broken.

Church Planters. Yes, that's what we are. That title is overwhelming. Now that we are past the 6 month mark here in Omaha, I am starting to feel quite nervous about the huge task that is ahead of us. Am I even capable??? That's an entirely separate blog-post!

Babies. My little one Zoe continues to be such a joy in my life. How wonderful to have a little sweetie whose face lights up every time she sees you! Mr. Javen is beautiful and brilliant. He is always amazing me and cracking me up with the things he says and does. I am truly blessed to be a mommy. It is a gift, and I pray I walk this journey of motherhood with abundant grace and joy.

Well, there is a collection of random thoughts for you. Just a little peek into my mind, which seems to be quite a mystery to most people. :0)

Paleo Progress Report

WOW! It's been SO long since my last blog post...time to get back on track!

I wanted to post an update on this (insane) paleo diet that Justin and I have been doing. For those of you who have never heard of it, you can get more info here. It's basically a "cave-man" diet. Meat, veggies, fruit and nuts are about all that's allowed.

I was really hard-core paleo for about the first 5 days, remaining very strict in my eating. But after about the 4th day, I noticed that Zoe started wanting to nurse constantly. This had me concerned that I wasn't getting the necessary carbs/calories that I need while breastfeeding. I didn't want to lose my "milk-supply"! So on day 5, I added one serving of whole grains per day, back into my diet. This is usually either a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, or a sandwich on whole grain bread for lunch. The remainder of my day has stayed very paleo :0)

So here we are at day 10, and I'm 3.4 pounds lighter! I'm feeling pretty good too.

The most difficult part for me is having no dairy (I LOVE milk, and crave it often), and also no sugar has been tricky.

I will continue to post 10 day progress reports!

First gift

This morning I received my first official Christmas gift of the season...and I am so excited! These are two super creative guided journals...these journals are created for people who love to create!

The pages instruct you to do things like fill an entire page with one word by writing it over and over again; make an inventory of everything you own; create a self-portrait by listing things that define you...minus your face.

I can't wait to wreck these journals :0) Thank you so much Mackenzie!

Dear Zoe...

Dear Zoe,

I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Only 8 weeks left in this journey of pregnancy before you arrive, though I'll admit, I'm hoping it is slightly sooner.

It is amazing to me that right now, God is crafting you to perfection. He has already given you talents, hopes, and dreams. And He has given me the privilege of being your mother, and watching you walk into those dreams. Every limb, every tiny organ is already functioning perfectly, you are being prepared to enter this great big world. You are such a miracle.

I am curious about you. What will you look like? I know that you will be beautiful, but of course how could you be anything less in my eyes. Will your hair be curly or straight? Brunette, blonde, or a fiery redhead? I know that your eyes will be bright and carry a sparkle, no matter what color they are. What will you be passionate about? In which areas will you excel? Maybe music and art like mommy, or sports and speaking like daddy... I want you to know that you can achieve anything, and you are so special.

You have a daddy who I know will adore you. You will be his princess, and he will give you lots of kisses! You will be cherished.

You have a big brother who already loves you. He can't wait to give you kisses and hugs, and I know he will always protect you and watch out for you, just as a big brother should.

Zoe Grace, this is my prayer for you;

That you will be filled with kindness, compassion, humility and gentleness. You will radiate a beauty that comes from the inside. You will be passionate in your love for Christ, your love for family and for your friends. You will grow to walk with grace, and a sweetness will follow wherever you go. You will impact everyone around you, just by being the incredible girl God has created you to be.

I love you so much,

Mommy

Oh Omaha!

Omaha...Nebraska... NEVER in a million years would I have imagined this would be a place I could be living.

I have often imagined moving somewhere great, like Tampa or Aspen...but Omaha? Not so much.

But yet here we are, in the middle of this adventure of life, and it seems as though Omaha is where God is directing us.

It really is a beautiful place, but still not too far off from our midwestern roots.

I really am excited about this opportunity, but stepping into the unknown and unexperienced is always a little bit scary too.

Justin and I could both travel the Quad Cities blindfolded...we have lived here our whole lives!

We were in Omaha for about 2 1/2 days this past weekend, and got lost almost EVERYWHERE we went!

But I'm sure, like with everything, you adapt. And I'm sure it won't be long before the city and people of Omaha also begin to feel like home.

I have never been outside of my comfort zone when it comes to living environment, or being away from family.

I think it will be good for us. It will force us to open up to new relationships, and I think it will draw us closer as a family as well.

Sometimes surrendering to God...I mean COMPLETELY surrendering...is the most difficult thing to do. It would be so, so, SO much easier to stay here in the QC and just keep doing what we are doing. But when it comes down to it, no matter how painful or how difficult, the voice of God is the only one we should listen to.

What an adventure....here we go!

I'm so ready!

A few months ago, I was dreading the thought of going through the whole labor/delivery/recovery process again. But now??? I can't wait!

When I was pregnant with Javen, I ended up having him 8 days after his due-date. I had a very comfortable pregnancy, up until that last week or so.

I don't understand why this time is so different, but the entire past month has felt like those last 8 days...and I still have 9 weeks to go!

I feel...HEAVY!

I am normally a pretty petite person. So when you throw 30 lbs. of excess weight at me and just expect my hips, back and legs to suddenly support it... well it's not working out too well!

I am looking forward to going into labor. With Javen I think I was a little bit naive about the whole process, I didn't know what I was getting into when I checked into the hospital that day!

But now I know exactly what I'm in for, and I have spent the last several weeks preparing my body and mind. I feel unafraid and empowered to bring this baby girl into the world!

I know that by the grace of God that this labor and delivery is going to be quick, easy, and free of any complications.

I am craving this little girl, I want to see her face....and I would also love to go for a jog. :0)

Can't wait to be non-pregnant!

6 Weeks

It's been 6 weeks since I have sang into a microphone.

Just typing that makes my heart ache.

Not out of pride, or a longing for the "spotlight". But it's a longing to be doing what I know God has called me, gifted me, and blessed me to do.

I didn't realize how much singing had become a part of me...until now.

Like everything, I choose to believe that this is just a season. I know that I will be singing again. But for now, God, my husband, my son, the shower and the steering wheel will be the only ones who hear my voice...for now.

Back at it again

It's been a while! So I redesigned, and re-titled my blog, and I am vowing to post a new blog at least 3 times a week.
Let me give a brief description of my new blogger-title. Yes, we are naming our soon to be born daughter Zoe. But I titled my blog "living zoe" because of the meaning of the word. In the Bible, the word zoe represents abundant life---therefore "living an abundant life" is the title of my blog. :0)
Oh the seasons of life! The past several months have been...a rollercoaster. Our direction has been changed from east to west and back again a dozen times. I guess that it just goes to show that our plans are not Gods plans.
I will tell you this, relocating was the LAST thing I expected to be doing in 2010, but it looks like a big move will be in our very near future. We have not made any final decisions regarding where we will be living for the next 1-2 years. We have been invited to Omaha, and we will be heading there this weekend to check things out and see if it's a good fit for us.
This is all so scary and thrilling at the same time. I am not looking forward to the day we hug our friends and family goodbye and pack up. In the immediate, I am heartbroken. But looking at the grand scale of life, this season is so temporary.
I believe that this opportunity is going to be one of the most refreshing, fulfilling things we have ever done. I know that we would regret it if we chose not to go.
You can read more about this transition at my husbands blog.

I can finally feel my joy returning as I look towards the future.

A Change is Coming...

I had my 19 week ultrasound appointment yesterday, and discovered with absolute certainty that our 2nd baby will be...a girl.

I can't say that I "knew" it was going to be a girl, nobody can. But I had a strong feeling that it was going to be a girl, and I wasn't taken back or surprised at all when we were told.

My husband on the other hand was, ummm... "slightly" surprised. I'm pretty sure he went into some form of shock, causing his eyes to bulge and his vocal chords to stop working.

I have only ever dealt with a son, where everything is rough and tumble and favorite toys are motorcycles and army guys.

Now we are being thrown into a world of baby dolls, hair bows, and Barbies. What a change, but what a joy.

I have no doubt that this little girl will be beautiful, intelligent, sweet and abundantly talented. I can't wait to meet her, but in the meantime, I've got shopping to do :0)

I can't wait to get my hands on...

...our living room! Along with our kitchen, bathroom, kids room....but the living room first! There is an HGTV worthy masterpiece brewing in my mind, and I can't wait to make it come to life! Our living room is BIG, about 25'x14'. The color theme will be shades of beige, charcoal gray, and accents of cranberry red. I am wanting to cover one wall with a bold geometric wallpaper. My favorite that I've found so far is in the photo above. I will be sure to post before and after photos of the transformation, once it gets underway!

Prayer Request

Please read this blog and take a moment of your time to pray for this sweet little girl, Kate. This beautiful 5 year old is having brain surgery today to remove an egg-sized tumor. Her family are believers and are holding tight to the promises of God and the power of prayer. Let's come into agreement with them. As a parent, I can't even comprehend what they are going through. My heart aches for them, and I am praying that God will do a miracle in Kates body.

http://promisetangemanblog.com/life/pray-for-kate

Prego-Week 6

A wonderful new sound enters the world this week when it comes to the development of my baby...its heartbeat. Although it is still too faint to be picked up by a stethoscope, it's visible in a sonogram as a tiny pulsing dot. From now until birth it will beat approx. 150 times per minute...twice the average adult heart rate! The baby will also TRIPLE in size this week, to about a quarter of an inch long. (Maybe that explains my sudden massive appetite!)

Symptoms: Vary by day...slightly nautious, more tired than usual...and STARVING always!

Baby bump: Not really noticing a "bump" yet, but definitely some softening/thickening (?) of the abdominal area. :0)

Prego

Well, the cat's out of the bag...Justin and I are expecting our 2nd baby! I have been off of birth control for 10 months, and it's finally happened! We are so very excited.

I will be using my blog as a way to keep track of my "pregnancy progress".

Right now I am about 4 weeks pregnant, give or take a couple days.

Here is what my baby and I look like at the 4 week mark...

The little one is smaller than a grain of rice and weighs only a fraction of an ounce. But he/she is already hard at work. The tiny body is transforming by the second, each layer is developing perfectly. Right now, it's tiny nerves and spinal cord are developing.

Here are my week 4 stats:

Symptoms: None, I feel good. Perfectly normal!

Weight: 109 lbs.

Waist size: 26 1/2"

(Prepare to see these numbers balloon over the course of the next 9 months!)

We goal weight gain for this 2nd pregnancy is 30-35 lbs. I gained 42 with Javen because all I did was stand around at work and eat vending machine snacks. This time I have a 2 year old to chase after, so I should be able to maintain a slightly healthier weight gain.

Keep checking back for weekly updates! I'm sure there will be some name-voting posts to come as well!

A Birthday Wish

Today is my husbands 30th birthday! (he robbed the cradle, I still have 5 good years left!)

I think that everyone handles turning 30 in their own unique way. Some may experience a "mid life crisis", while others celebrate a new chapter of their life beginning.

I know that Justin is a lot of things to a lot of people. He is a pastor, coach, "big brother", boss, father figure...but I want to take a minute to talk about who he is to me.

My very first impression of Justin Dean occurred when I was about 15 years old (10 years ago, WOW!) I had started going to a youth ministry on Tuesday nights with my boyfriend at the time. Justin was one of the greeters. He always made a great impression as people walked through the church doors, his vibrance and passion was obvious even within those few seconds of passing each week. He had ear-length, super curly hair and gaged ears, which really made him stand out to me...LOVE that curly hair :0) I remember him doing backflips off the stage, and even rapping at times! Yes, I thought he was super hot...but so did most of the other 15 year old girls at the time. I'm NOT the type to flirt, or go after a guy, so I didn't even dwell on the thought or possibility of dating him. He was WAY out of my league.

About 3 years passed and I stayed involved in that ministry, eventually becoming an intern. One night I was sitting in service, in the back row with an empty chair next to me. Justin came and sat next to me and in a very cheesy, funny way he said "How you doin' " as he slid his arm over the back of my chair. He asked how old I was and I told him 18, he cracked a smile and said "Interesting...." haha...I remember this like it was yesterday.

I was in charge of a station every Wednesday night that I had to set up and tear down before and after service. Justin had hundreds of things to do after services each week, but that night he came and helped me tear down and put away my station...and the week after, and the week after...

One Sunday he asked me to go out to lunch with him and some other friends....and I said no. I made an excuse, but I did it on purpose. Then, he asked me AGAIN on a Wednesday night to go to Village Inn with a group of people. Again, I said no... (ladies, men like a challenge!)

The following Wednesday he asked for my number, and I gave it to him. Then he waited 2 days to call! Talk about torture! He invited me over to his apartment to watch a movie with a group of friends. I was the first to arrive and the last to leave. He walked me to my car and asked for a hug :0) Then the very next night he asked to see me again and we went to get coffee at Village Inn. My hands were sweating, I wanted so badly to impress him.

That was the beginning of our relationship. With the exception of missions trips, we have been together almost every single day since January 10th, 2002.

I can not begin to explain how incredibly blessed I feel to have Justin as my husband. It was through a series of events, some unfortunate, some joyous, that him and I ended up together. Many, MANY things tried to keep us from becoming husband and wife (that's a whole nutha' blog!) But the hand of God was so obviously at work in our relationship, and my heart overflows with gratefulness.

Justin has accomplished many, many great things. But I believe that one of his greatest accomplishments has been our relationship and family.

My husbands strength has made me stronger. He is an excellent father, and loves Javen more deeply than he will ever be able to tell you. His passion is contagious and has inspired me to run hard after my dreams. He is the hardest working, most dedicated man I have ever known. I respect and trust him with my life.

Jus, you are more loved, more admired, more respected than you will ever know. Happy 30th birthday. I am in awe of what you have survived and accomplished over these last 30 years, I can't imagine what you will achieve in the next 30.

Works of Art

Well, I guess this makes me official. 

These are my business cards, and it overwhelms me just to look at them

Why??? Because lately I have been selling artwork as quickly as I can make it.

I don't even have a website or a gallery. Just a few pieces hanging at a local coffee shop, and pictured on facebook.

How far could this go??? How much money do I have the potential to make for my family?

My biggest issue is that I want my artwork to remain just that....ART. I really, really don't want it to become stressful and something I no longer enjoy. I don't want to just start producing pieces that I don't love, just to meet a deadline.

I have A LOT of questions!

Should I start making prints?

Should I frame my art, or just use the boxed canvases?

Should I try to submit one of my most popular pieces to a distributor and have it mass produced for a commission? 

HELP! If any of you have experience in this area, I would love your input!

Girl-Crushes

 I have never met any of these women. But for one reason or another, I find myself watching what they do, what they say, what they wear and how they live. Some of them I probably would not choose to model my life after, but still think they are cool. So here they are:

#1 Promise Tangeman

A super edgy artist, photographer, and designer. I LOVE her work, and I love her personal style.

#2 Brooke Fraser

One of the lead singer/songwriters for Hillsong. She is a beautiful girl with an amazing gift. And most importantly, she is in love with the same God that I am in love with. 

#3 Kate Hudson

A gifted actress and such a naturally beautiful girl. There is nothing about her that is artificial or "implanted", and I love that :0)

#4 Carrie Underwood

This girl has got insane vocal talent! I love that she hasn't let her blast-off career and stardom change the person she is. From what I've seen in her interviews, she is super sweet and down to earth.

#5 Megan Foxx

Megan is on this list simply because, she's hot.

Yes.

I think that another girl is hot.

And I'm pretty sure, male or female, you would have to be blind to say that she isn't :0)

ABC, Easy as 1, 2, 3

A - Age: 25

B - Bed size: Full...though I'm craving a larger one

C - Chore you hate: Cleaning the kitchen floor

D - Dog's name: None

E - Essential start your day item:  The Bible and breakfast

F - Favorite color(s): Green and orange

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5'1"-ish

I - Instruments you play: My vocal chords :0)

J - Job title: Mommy! Also aspiring artist and musician

K - Kid(s): 1 little man, Javen

L - Living arrangements: With hubby and son

M - Mom's name: Joleen

N - Nicknames: Manda, Mandy (when I was young)

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Never

P - Pet Peeve: When someone says they can't find something and they have already looked. Then I go look in the same spot and find it right away.

Q - Quote from a movie: "It's not a graduation, he is passing from the 4th grade to the 5th grade. We keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity!" -The Incredibles :0)

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 2 brothers, Joel, Colton. And 1 sis, Karlee

T - Time you wake up: 8-ish

U - Underwear: Wouldn't you like to know... ;0)

V - Vegetable you dislike: Beets

W - Workout style: Some cardio and light lifting

X - X-rays you've had: Only 1 I can remember, for a sprained ankle in 6th grade.

Y - Yesterday's best moment: Visiting Evergreen art supplies store...and drooling as I walked through the aisles.

Z - Zoo favorite: Giraffes, Lions