I want to be...

I want to be... A more beautiful person.

I am not talking about exterior beauty and all of the complications that come with physical "perfection". But rather the simplicity of a beautiful spirit. 

I want to exude a beauty that is birthed out of love, kindness, grace, mercy, generosity, compassion, and joy.

Most importantly, I want my God in heaven to look down at me and be pleased with how I am living this precious life He has given me. I want more than anything for HIM to see me as beautiful.

Snap back to reality

Over the past 2 weeks, 3 things in my life have completely been put on pause. They are:

My healthy eating habits. They have been replaced with things like pecan pie, sugar cookies, egg nog, and mashed potatoes that I'm pretty sure were made with about 9 sticks of butter.

My workout routine. Haven't laced up the Nike Shox since last Tuesday.

My book. I was flying through the book I started 3 weeks ago, and now I haven't read a page in about 10 days.

I will blame this situation on...the holidays and the weather.

Needless to say, I feel like a lazy heffer. My body is not responding well either, my tummy hurts and I am sluggish to say the least.

Come Monday, it's back to reality. Back to the gym, back on track.

The time has come

Countless hours of shopping, and hundreds of dollars spent are represented with the gifts beneath our tree.

Over the course of the next 48 hours, these gifts will be given out, and opened. Then they will be hung in a closet or thrown in a toy box. The gift cards and cash will be spent on more stuff that we really don't need.  

The other day on our local news, they were interviewing a 9 year old girl who I was amazed by. This little girl had decided to give away her entire Christmas to kids who had been abused.

Not just the gifts from her parents, but her ENTIRE Christmas. Every single gift she got from Grandma and Grandpa, aunts, uncles, friends...she gave it all away to those less fortunate than herself.

For a little girl who probably had a list for Santa that was a mile long, to be so selfless was so awesome to me.

 For Justin and I, it was even difficult to think of anything we wanted for Christmas this year, because we already have so much.

So tomorrow and Thursday as the people who love you shower you with gifts, give them a little extra thanks, and remember that you are blessed!  

Understanding the "Terrible 2's"

I put Javen down for a nap this afternoon.

2 hours later, this is what I found.

I guess he decided to do something more fun with those 2 hours.

A Juicy Question

 Two years ago, Justin bought me a giant bottle of Juicy Couture perfume for Christmas. I have worn it faithfully almost every day. It has become sort of my "signature scent". But now I am tipping the bottle to get the last few drops out. So, with Christmas fast approaching, the question is this; do I ask for another bottle of Juicy? Or do I make the switch to something new?

Hmmmm...that is the question.

Get me out of here!

This is what I am craving.

I can see myself sitting in one of these chairs.

I can almost feel the hot sun on my skin.

What's that you said Mexico?.... You want me to come back and visit you?

Hopefully a tropical vacation isn't too far away, 5 year anniversary perhaps?

I need the beach. That's right, need.

Things that make me say "Grrrr..."

Most people think that I am just so laid back and easy going, that nothing really bothers me. Most people probably assume that I just coast along, letting any issues go in one ear and out the other.  Well, I was thinking today...there are some things that really bother me, I just choose to keep my mouth shut about them.  Here are a few personality traits, or rather..."character flaws" that really bother me:

-Gossips... I can not stand it when people gossip. I realize that most of them do it out of jealousy, insecurity, or just in an attempt to make themselves look better while making someone else look bad. This is the same category in which I would place "tattle-tales". People, even grown adults who are just waiting for someone to fail so that they can go "tattle" on them. To me, that's not walking in love. We all make mistakes.

-Liars... Straight up lying is just wrong. But it also bothers me when people exaggerate the truth, to make a story seem much better or much worse than it actually is. I suppose this is in an attempt to either gain more sympathy than what is actually needed, or to make themselves sound better than they actually are. I don't understand how people can lie to others, and be ok with it. Doesn't your conscience just beat you up afterwards? I can remember every time I've told a big lie, and how miserable I've felt afterwards. Maybe some people just become so accustomed to lying, that it doesn't phase them anymore.

-DRAMA!...I am not into drama...at all! Most of it is pointless, a waste of energy. I don't understand the point in getting everybody stirred up over an issue that is usually, as King Solomon said, meaningless.

I really try hard to not be any of these things, but like everyone I sometimes stumble into one of these categories.  So, what bothers you? What personality traits, or character flaws make you say "Grrrrr..."?

My Sister

This is my sister Karlee. She is 3 years younger than me.

When we were kids, and even through junior high, we hated each other.

I don't know if it was a jealousy thing or what. But I remember times when we would literally be on the ground fighting. You know, the girl way of fighting...scratching each other, pulling hair...the hard-core stuff.

Now that my sister and I are both adults, we have become pretty close. We are good friends.

So today, I am very sad.

Today Karlee left for Arizona. She made the decision to move there...for reasons outside of any one else's opinions or influence.

My sister is a beautiful girl, with huge potential. So many people can see that inside of her. Now I'm just praying that she will see it herself.

For those of you who know her, keep her in your prayers! 

So many options...

Last night at Financial Peace University we were asked the question "If money was not a setback, what would you choose to do with your life?"

Now, this might sound a little conceited, please don't take it that way though...

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have often thought, "I wish I could give something inside of me to someone else. That way I would not have to feel guilty about not using some of my talents."

I have musical talent.- I wish I could gig every weekend, make a record, and be more involved in the praise and worship ministry.

I have artistic talent- I wish I could open a gallery, teach workshops, do custom paintings.

I have a heart for teenage girls- I wish I could spend quality time with every girl in my small group, take them on trips, learn who they are.

I have an eye for design and architecture.- I wish I could custom-design homes for people.

I am athletic and in good shape.- I would love to get into personal training, I would love to play in a court volleyball league.

Every time I think about these things, I get overwhelmed. I look at all of the things I am capable of doing. And they are all good things! All things that would fulfill a passion and desire inside of me.

But, I have to constantly remind myself that there is a season for everything.

Right now primarily, it is my season to be a mother. And I really do love my job! I am learning how to take the talents God has given to me, and apply them to being a mommy. Things like, doing art projects with Javen... even if it is just scribbling with crayons. 

When you are in the position I am in, with so many options, so much you could be doing... you have to cheat something. I don't want to cheat my family. I trust that the opportunity for me to experience more is on it's way...in God's timing.

What about you? What would you do? Or are you doing it???

Modern Obsession

For those of you who don't know it, I have a bit of a fetish with modern design and architecture.

Since I was in 7th grade, I have always loved designing floor plans for homes. I guess this tendency came from my dad being a custom-builder. He was constantly scribbling out ideas and sketches for the next home to build.

The crazy thing is that if you were to come to our house right now and go through a few drawers, you would find several pads of graph paper filled with floor plans and design ideas. For the past 10 years, the passion I have for modern designing and architecture hasn't withered at all.

Just so happens I married a guy who is capable of building a home with his own two hands.

I know that someday we are going to buy a piece of land and build a sick, custom designed (by me) modern home. Maybe something similar to the home in the photo above.

Acoustic Resistance

I have been reading a book called "The War of Art" that has really inspired me in a lot of areas. If you are a musician, artist, writer, or aspire to be one, I highly recommend this book! Anyway...the first few chapters have been talking about "resistance". The book describes resistance as the unseen force that keeps any creative person from fulfilling and walking in their creativity. It is that thing that keeps you from sitting down and doing what you feel yourself being drawn to do. It says that if you can get yourself to sit down and begin painting, begin playing, begin writing...then you have already beaten resistance. Every single one of us has something that we aspire to do or be, and resistance is probably what is keeping us from getting to it.

For several months, I believe that this resistance has kept my acoustic guitar in it's case.

Today I decided to beat resistance.

I'm pretty excited. I need to have patience though and realize that I won't be able to play fluently after just an hour of practice.

I believe that God has given me some natural ability, and a natural ear in the area of music.

I really don't want to let that go to waste!

I hope to become more of an asset to the Rock Church praise and worship team as I learn to play guitar.

So now, with bright red, throbbing fingertips, I'm signing off. Will keep ya posted!

Sweet Daisy

This is Daisy

She is 4 years old.

She lives in Africa

Today she became the 3rd child to be sponsored by Justin and I

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I have been asking myself the simple question, "What am I thankful for?"

My list is endless, we have been given so much...too much.

Today, I hope that Daisy received something to put on her "Thankful List" by our sponsorship. 

Visit www.fomministry.com to sponsor a child today.

O Christmas Tree

I have never put up a Christmas tree this early in the season. But this year for some reason,  I just couldn't help myself.

I decided to go with a very non-traditional theme this year, after 4 years of red and silver.

Orange and purple was the path I chose. Throw in some butterfly's and sparkly fruit and you have a very out of the box Christmas tree. :0)

'Tis the season

He's a big kid now...

It's official. Javen got his first haircut at the barber shop. I didn't actually want to cut it, but had no choice due to the hack-job I gave him a few weeks ago. So we made a trip over to Big League Barbers where our sister-in-law Jennifer worked her magic. Javen wasn't sure what to think. He sat very solemnly the entire time. So now he looks like a big boy. We will let it grow back out, but at least now it won't look like a bob :0)

Canvas

This blog is simply dedicated to our new, amazing family portrait canvas. It's 24"x30" and makes such a statement! Plus, it comes with a 50 year guarantee, unlike regular photos which can change and fade over time. If you can afford a little splurge, canvas is the way to go!

Being Satisfied

Things I can't wait for:

-Moving into a new house, which also includes...

getting new furniture

new decorations

a brand new, fresh, CLEAN start on the atmosphere of our home

-Christmas

-Vacationing to the beach

-"Growing" our family :0)

-Getting another dog

-Being debt free

-Our church reaching 500+ members

-To be a better singer/praise and worship leader

I don't think it's wrong to be excited about the future. But for me...it's become a problem. I can feel myself becoming unsatisfied with where I am at right now. I almost constantly think about, and plan our future. I even spend time shopping online for furniture to buy for our next house, which might not even be in the picture for another 2 or 3 years! I definitely have already started making my Christmas list... and Javens! I look around the house we have now, and all I can think about is everything I don't like, or want to change. I think a lot about our next child..."boy or girl? picking out names, nursery decor, etc..." and I'm not even pregnant!!! I think a lot about our church, and sometimes compare our ministry to others thinking "Man, if we could just have that sound system, or those lights and that stage"... Even as I'm typing this, I realize how ridiculous I've been. 

So, I've made a short list of things that are happening, right here, right now, that I am so thankful for. I am making a choice not to take these things for granted any more, because really...what more do I need?:

-I have a beautiful, healthy son. 

-I have an undescribable relationship with my husband

-We have a pretty sweet house, that a lot of people would love to live in.

-Our ministry is exploding! God is taking us where He wants us to be, in HIs timing.

-God has graced me with talent that I don't even understand most of the time. I will never sound exactly like some of the other singers I've heard, so I will stop comparing myself, and focus on being the best version of me.

-Thanks to Financial Peace, we are saving money and paying off debt like crazy! I believe that very soon we will be debt free, and be able to take an amazing vacation, paid for in ca$h!!!

-Thank you God for reminding me of how good I've got it! Help me not to get caught up in the things of this earth, but to cherish the moments you give me  and use them to  give, love, and live life to the fullest."

New Art

I just finished this new piece yesterday afternoon. It's pretty big, about 4 feet long and 1 1/2 feet wide. It was actually an old canvas that I had painted about 2 years ago. I didn't like that old painting anymore so I primed over it. I wanted to kind of use the idea of an urban, graffiti covered wall as the inspiration.

It's Here!!!

Well, the week of TheMix '08 has finally arrived. It's hard to believe this is the 5th year we have held this event. The excitement and anticipation of this annual weekend has been extreme, if not overwhelming. This year will be the biggest and best yet. We are bringing 200+ teenagers to Iowa City...WOW! Just looking at that number I am amazed at the favor of God upon our ministry. I remember when Justin and I first came to the Rock...there were a whopping 7 kids at the first Wednesday night service...most of which were his cousins! About 2 years later we challenged KYC to have 50 teens in service. It took a few weeks, but they did it and we celebrated with Maggie Moo's. Now we are averaging 200 teenagers every Wednesday night. These past 5 years have been nothing short of a move of God, and I can't freakin' wait to see what He is going to do over the next 5 years! Pray for our leaders this weekend. It will be a long, tiring weekend, with lots of Starbucks in-hand I'm sure. But we are expecting God to ROCK the lives of teenagers so they can go home and begin to change the atmosphere of their families, schools, city, nation...there's no stopping a dangerous church!

Another tat?

This is a sketch called "Dove of Peace" done by Pablo Picasso. I am considering having this historic piece of art made into a tattoo. I love the simplicity of the sketch, the bursts of color and the joy and peace that the dove represents. I also love the idea that it was birthed from the mind of a great artist, and wont be just a trend. I would probably get it done on the underside of my wrist/forearm...Input please!

Uninspired

I apologize for the lack of blogging. As the title hints, I haven't felt very inspired lately. Maybe it's this weather. The onset of winter always makes me want to go into hibernation. I hate being cold. It makes me want to wear layers of fleece and hide under blankets, motionless. And get this. I have a huge, lifeless canvas in my dining room, just waiting to be painted. I can't even get up enough gumption to paint it! Maybe I should take up addictive coffee-drinking, perhaps that would help get me up and at 'em. Anyway, here's to a more optimistic blog-post in the very near future. As for now, like the weather, this page remains cold and boring.

A Fond Farewell...

I love these shoes. I'm not sure why, but I have some sort of an attachment to them. Sure, I only paid $10 for them back in the spring, but they have been good friends all summer long. However, the time has come, for them to head to the trash can. I finally made this decision the other day as I was walking through Wal-Mart and nearly fell over because the soles of my shoes kept curling up. Oh well, on to better shoes for the fall and winter...oh wait, is that in the budget? Yet again, the voice of Dave Ramsey echo's through my head...

Sad, but encouraged...

Today, I was made aware of 3 major prayer requests. Things that are going on within the families of girls that I care about, and who don't deserve to be burdened by things like this. Two of the requests, ironically, are for parents who have been diagnosed with cancer. The other is for a 4-year old little brother who has endured 2 surgeries, and now the doctors are saying he might never walk "just right". 

The results of sin in our world make me angry.

It hurts my heart to see others suffering.

Then I think...how much more must it have hurt the heart of God to see his son suffering, hanging on the cross? And why did he do it?...only for us.

Isaiah 53:5 (MSG) "But it was our sins that did that to Him, that ripped and tore and crushed him- our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through His bruises, we GET HEALED."

The weight of sin on our world and our lives is painful. But PRAISE GOD there is hope.

Jesus gave his live, and not just gave it...He cried, and endured, and suffered an unimaginably painful death, so that we can be free. So that we can be HEALED, so that we can live a life of abundance and peace in every area.

I will be coming into agreement with these girls over the healing of their loved ones, and most importantly that they will turn to Jesus, the only one who can bring true life.

snip-snip

I love makeovers! Today I took my girl Cloe to Five Star Salon in the east village of Davenport to get her hair cut! She cut 10 inches to donate it to "Locks of Love". This is an awesome foundation that makes wigs for women and girls who have lost their hair due to cancer. She looks adorable, and what a great cause! 

Life as a bachlorette...

I do not enjoy cooking...at all. I cook for my husband, but I would much rather survive on string cheese and cereal. Because of this dislike for cooking, I'm surely not going to cook at all while Justin is out of town. So, I picked up a few microwave-meals at Wal-Mart this week to have for dinner while he is gone at Catalyst. Last nights particular meal consisted of chicken-nuggets. After heating the meal in the microwave, I sat down and anticipated that first bite of juicy, white-meat nugget, only to discover...it was hollow. Maybe I should have expected this, considering the entire meal was $1.50...but seriously people. This, was a pitiful dinner.

Answer to the Question...

I am a small group leader. I did not volunteer to be in this position, I actually wasn't even asked. It was more like...a nomination. I remember clearly when Justin first came home and said "Hey babe, I signed you up to be a small group leader." I was not happy. Javen was less than a year old, and I was still trying to adjust to my new schedule as a stay at home mom. I also hate leading conversations, it makes me uncomfortable. I did not want this extra "burden" of leading a group of teenage girls.

That was about 1 year ago.

Sunday night at our leadership meeting, we were asked the question "What makes you want to love and serve Jesus more? What stirs your passion?"

One of the first things that came to my mind, were these 15 amazing girls.

It is hard for me to put into words how differently I feel now, compared to how I felt in the beginning.

I remember when I was in high-school. I was silently crying out for someone to talk to. Someone who could give wise counsel, and love me unconditionally. I so badly wish that I could have had a group of girls and a leader who I could have been myself around. Who I could have asked to pray with me, cry with me, celebrate with me. I pray earnestly that I can be that person to these girls.

A piece of my heart has been given willingly to my small group. I am witnessing their lives being changed on a weekly basis. I am amazed at the work of God.

When I think about the hearts, talent, potential, and love for God that these young women carry with them, it motivates me. They make me thankful, they make me want to praise God.

What motivates you to Praise???

I'm Pooped

If you asked me the question "So, what do you do all day?" (which many people do) I honestly would not be able to tell you, other than that I take care of Javen's needs. This is crazy to me, because most days I literally hardly sit down, except to eat lunch. At at the end of the day, even though I've done a lot, I feel like I haven't completed anything. I've come to the conclusion that the reason this, is because I'm over-committed. I am doing a whole lot, but none of it is being done whole heartedly, or with excellence. This has led to an almost constant state of frustration. I know that I need to start raising up leaders to fill my shoes when it comes to ministry. I know that there is lots of talent and potential within Rock Church, and I just need to be willing to invest some time into developing these potential leaders. At this stage of my life, my family needs to be my number one ministry. I feel like they are the ones suffering the most because my mind, and time is focused on so many other things, and other people. I need to stop being such a "yes" person, and be willing to let some people down if I say no. I am worn out! Physically and emotionally. Have any of you ever felt this way? How have you handled it???

Cutie-Pie

I may be a little biased, but I happen to think that my little guy Javen is the cutest little boy I have ever seen! Not only does he have this sweet face, but his energy and personality is equally sweet! BabyGap.com is having their annual "casting call". This is when they search for new baby and kid models for their web-site, store banners/flyers, etc. I decided to enter Javen, just to see what happens! All of the applicants will be narrowed down to 20 from each category. Then, it's up to the public to vote for their favorite from that top 20. That is how the winner is chosen. Grand prize...a family trip to SanFransisco for a photo-shoot with Gap and a $1000 Gap shopping spree! It would be so exciting, even if he just made it into the top 20! We shall see...

Oh snap...

This is just one of the amazing photos that were taken by Amanda Williams last weekend at our family shoot.

Yes, I know, we are incredibly good-looking.

Try not to be jealous.

In approximately 5 hours, Justin and I will be leaving for a weekend away from...everything! 2 days in Galena for the Rock Church marriage retreat means; relaxation, quality time with each other, good friends, good food, good...ya know!

My dearest blog-post page, I shall see you next week!

I wonder...

 I wonder what I would have been like, had I not fallen in love with Jesus. There's no telling the ridiculous decisions I would have made, or how many people I would have allowed to take advantage of me. I think that if I would have never became a christian and a pastors wife, then right now I  might be living out one of these 2 scenarios...which makes me wonder if I'm a little bi-polar, because they are so opposite!

1. I would be...

Worshipping "mother-nature". You know, one of those hippy-type, eating organic granola , wearing hemp jewelry and peasant skirts. Painting in the park.

I would have many, many tattoos

I would give much of my time and money to "good-causes", that have nothing to do with the Kingdom of God.

Or...

2. I would be...

A rock star

I would wear skinny jeans and super mod tops or vintage band t's, everyday. 

I would have a bright-pink streak through my hair

I would have many, many tattoos (hmmm?)

I would be completely worshipping myself and giving in to my sinful desires.

I would be deep into debt due to spending all of my money on designer jeans, shoes, etc... 

With either of these scenarios, I would be...

Hopeless. Wondering why these things that are so appealing to me, have left me so empty.

Thank you God for rescuing me from what I could have been!

I am beyond thankful to be living a life fulfilled, through Jesus Christ.

Walking the fence

This afternoon while cleaning the bathroom, oddly enough, this scripture came to my mind. It is a familiar scripture, but I had never heard it spoken through The Message translation, so I looked it up;

Revelation 3:15-16 "I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot- far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit."

Woah...that's harsh. But sadly, that is true of most of us, at least some of the time. We become so acclimated to church, and the routine of it that we become stale, stagnant, without growth or passion.

God obviously wants our whole heart to be on fire for Him. But it's crazy to me that God would prefer for us to be cold, to completely turn our back on Him, than to be luke-warm, walking the fence.

I am being challenged to uncover areas where I might still be keeping just a little for myself. Areas where I am selfish, prideful, and not allowing God to do all that He wants to in my life. Areas where I am tempted to just touch my toes into dangerous territory.

Which side of the fence are you on?

Mmmmm good.

Caramel Apple Spice

Do It

Enough Said

Here it comes again...

In about 9 days, we will be here.

Where? Beautiful Galena IL

What? Rock Church Marriage Retreat

Why? Some much needed R&R, as well as 2 whole days of quality time with Justin.

I look forward to the marriage retreat every year. My anticipation usually starts about 6 weeks before the retreat. I love Galena, and as I mentioned in a previous post, I love this time of year. Most of all, I love my husband. Weeks go by and even though we are usually together at home in the evenings, it is difficult to spend real quality time with each other. That is why I love this annual weekend experience. No distractions. (well, other than some great shopping maybe) No cooking, no cleaning, just chillaxin. Can't wait.

What a small world...

Wednesday afternoon I took a trip to the hair salon with Christianna (she was chopping 6" and needed emotional support!) I was browsing through some hair catalogues when I saw a photo that got my attention. I was shocked at seeing this particular model, because she looked shockingly similar to a friend of mine, Liv Ryan. So I began taking pictures of the model in the catalogue thinking "Oh man, I have to show Liv that she has a twin out there somewhere!" The more I looked at the photos, the more I began to think...Ok, is this seriously her?

I texted Liv, just to find out for sure;

Me: "Hey, did you ever do any modeling for a hair catalogue?"

Liv: "Yeah, like 3 years ago..."

Me: "Holy crap! I am staring at a photo of you in the catalogue right now!"

It was so crazy! It must have been a similar emotion to just finding out you're related to a celebrity or something!

Who would have thought that photo shoot would land in a catalogue, and fall into my hands, at a small salon in East Moline IL. Maybe it is a small world after all...

 

I love this guy...

I have the most amazing husband on the face of the earth!...I'm pretty sure about that. Justin works countless hours every week  for the church, in addition to being a wrestling coach, running a coffee shop, and maintaining a healthy family life. He also willingly puts up with my multiple weekly rehearsals, and late-night weekend gigs, while he is left with Javen. I don't know anyone like him, and I'm so glad he is mine!

Penny pinching gone wrong...

In an attempt to save a few extra bucks at Wal-Mart this week, I decided to buy the generic brand of diapers, instead of the usual Huggies. For those of you who are unaware of the technology behind diapers, here's what happens; When the diaper gets wet, the lining expands and turns into a type of gel. This morning when I went to get Javen from his crib, he was covered in these tiny gel-beads, due to diaper-leakage. He was grossed out. Thank you generic brands of the world for saving us all a little cash, but I'm afraid I will return to my name-brand diapers. 

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!!

This is what Sundays used to be:

10:00am- Church

12:00pm- Out for a relaxing lunch with family and friends

1:30- Home to watch a movie, take a nap...do nothing!

This is what Sundays have become:

8:00am- Sound check

10:00am- Church Service #1

12:00pm- Quick run for lunch between services

1:00pm- Church Service #2

1:45pm- Home to put Javen down for a nap, and try to chill out for a few minutes.

3:30pm- Small group

5:00pm- New Wine rehearsal

7:00pm- Leadership training (once a month)

Do I miss the good old, relaxing, do nothing Sundays? Yes

But do I love what God is doing through us at Rock Church? Heck yes

My fall & winter lust-list...

Boots by Mark Nason

If you haven't seen this line of boots, you have to check them out! Especially the guys...

Super cozy down coat by Soia&Kyo

Jeans by True Religion

Butter-soft leather bag by Marc Jacobs...yummy.

Grand total for all of these fabulous items... approx $1200!!! A girl can dream, can't she?...

My dillema...

I have been in denial of the fact that my hair looks better short, for the past 4 months or so. I am trying to grow it long, but am beginning to suffer from a severe lack of patience. Here is what my hair could possibly look like, if I continue to grow it to my desired length...

Otherwise...chop-chop. 

What do you think oh faithful readers? 

Poor little fella

I am an animal lover at heart. I can usually find something cute about even the most unloveable furry creatures. This guy however...well that's just nasty. Is he even alive? Looks very little like a dog, more like a dead rat to me. Gross...

My favorite season

Today for the first time in 2008, I could feel autumn in the air.

I love everything about fall. I love the way the air feels just right, not too humid, not too cold or hot. I love the way it smells, like burning leaves or an apple cinnamon candle. I love the colors of fall, the way that God reaches down and paints each leaf so vividly. I love the way that the fallen leaves sound as you crunch through them. I love being huddled under a blanket at a football game. I love jackets and sweaters, and comfy worn out jeans. 

I love fall. 

Big, Beautiful, and Broken

This is our TV. For the past week, this is all that it has done, yep...broke. No picture, no sound...broke. We called the repair center last Tuesday when this happened, only to hear that the soonest a technician could come look at the TV would be today, a full week later. Me, being a stay-at-home mom, became slightly concerned about this situation. However, this week I have realized how much I DON'T need a TV! I really have hardly missed it. I've been able to spend so much more quality time with Javen, playing in the backyard, going to the park, making forts. Also got to start a new book, and do some artwork. This, has been a refreshing week. However, the technician just left our house, and he left some bad news...$700 to fix our TV! That's not even right. This TV is less than a year and a half old, it's not some cheap generic brand, and we paid a pretty penny for it! The guy said that we need to call Hitachi and pitch a fit, and hopefully they will cover the expenses for us. *Sigh...

What about you, could you do it??? Challenge yourself to give up TV for 1 week, and let the creativity flow!

A little blast from the past

Justin and I found this really fun website where you can upload your picture, and see what you could have looked like, had you been alive in past decades. Here are a few of mine...

This one really scares me. It's actually quite similar to the way I really looked in high school...loved the bangs.

For those of you who have been longing for me to ditch the flat iron, and take on "big-hair"...here it is.

Ummmm?.....

CREEPY! I look just like my mom when she was my age!

Hottie...what can I say

Mom stuff...

I never thought it would be possible to love so unconditionally, care so little about perfection, or care so much about seeing a smile. I can't believe the transition I made from life being all about me, to devoting almost all of my time to caring for someone else. Being a mom has changed everything about me. I truly feel like it has softened my heart. Time passes much, much too quickly. I just want to soak up every moment with my little love. Javen Wayne, such a joy.

Making some changes

This is just a sample of some of the "snacks" we have around our house. I was cleaning out cabinets today and realized they are loaded with teeth-rotting, pound-adding, heart-hurting, CRAP! Justin and I used to eat extremely healthy when were first married. In fact, we lived much healthier lifestyles all together. We worked out 3-5 times a week, hardly ever ate fast food...my how the times have changed. 

Neither Justin or I are too concerned about gaining a couple of pounds, it wouldn't be the end of the world. But, I can definitely feel the affects of my poor diet and lack-of-exercise in other areas, the biggest one being energy-level! 

I realized that I am primarily to blame for this life-style shift. I am the one who does the grocery shopping and prepares meals. I am responsible for the diet and health of my family! So this week I am making a change. I'm tired of polluting the body God gave me. I don't want Javen growing up with a mouth full of cavities, and addicted to candy and Kool-Aid like most kids. Healthier food like fresh fruit and veggies, are more expensive. But an extra $15 a week to buy better food is worth the sacrifice for me and my family.

I also plan to start exercising this week. Not setting the bar too high since I haven't been in the gym since March...let's start with 2 or 3 times this week. I'll keep ya posted!

Any healthy, yummy recipes??? Let me know!

Hmmm...

No, I have not been crying, and No, I am not high...these are my eyes after a week long battle with infection, and 2 hours spent in a smoke filled room last night.

Justin and I are not gamblers by any means, but in honor of our cousin Tifani turning 21 this week, we were invited to go down to Isle of Capri to celebrate. I found a lucky seat at one of the 2 cent slot machines and ended up breaking even. Justin headed to the roulette table, and by the end of the night, he was up $45. Nothing lost, a little gained, not a bad deal. Friday night at the Casino was packed. I noticed lots of gamblers who would greet each other by name, some who were having friendly conversations with the dealers at the tables. At least 50% of the people were smoking, and many were drinking. It was a community of addictive personalities. These people had found their niche, a place where they are accepted for the decisions they make, because no one else can stop themselves either. The casino closes at 4:00am, because of people who have told themselves "One more try, just one more try" all night long. What if the dream of "hitting the jackpot" was all you had to live for? Every day it consumes your mind, and every weekend that dream steals your time and money. I can't imagine walking into a casino with no self control, being willing to lose it all, in hopes of gaining something.

The Casino is not a place that Justin and I plan on returning to any time soon. It was entertaining and fun to be with friends. Luckily we didn't lose anything, but our opinion is that gambling just isn't smart.

What about you? What is your opinion on gambling, and how have you seen it affect the people in your life?

GRRRRR!

Right now, I am cursing my oozing eye. Because of this infection, I have decided not to go to KYC tonight, for the following 3 reasons; 

1. Pink-eye is highly contagious and I don't want to infect anyone else, especially the little ones in the nursery.

2. I can barely see anything more than 10 feet from my face, which could result in a massive headache by the end of service.

3. This ridiculous redness and swelling makes me look like a victim of abuse.

I am so upset about this, why does this have to happen tonight?! It's a big night at KYC. Joshua from Fishers of Men ministries is going to be at service, and talk a little bit about the kids that we sponsored. It would be awesome to meet him! It is also small group kick-off night. All of the small groups are going to be recognized, and every single teenager in service is going to be put into a small group, if they aren't already! I sooo wish I could be there with my girls! 

It's funny, I often think "Man, I need a break from ministry. Just a couple weeks off would be so nice." Well here I am, at home on a Wednesday night, and the only place I want to be is at church. 

the Pink of the Eye

SICK!!!

As you can see...something is not right with my face.
As of right now, my entire family has pink eye. Either my pain tolerance level has significantly decreased since I was a kid, or this is a particularly painful case of pink-eye. It literally feels like my eye ball is bruised, so it hurts to blink. My vision is blurred, so I can't  watch TV or read without getting a headache. My eye is producing monstrous goobers, which grosses me out.I don't ever remember having this severe swelling with my childhood pink-eye episodes...weird. This, is not fun. Hopefully it will pass quickly, headed to good old Walgreens to pick up some prescription drops this evening.

2 New Additions to our family!

This is Dorcas and Isaac. Two children, living in Africa with little more than the clothes on their back. Justin and I have made the decision to touch the lives and futures of these kids through monthly sponsorship. Think about this number...$30 a month literally gives life to these kids. That small amount of money supplies them with food, clean water, and other vital supplies for an entire month. Consider your life in comparison to theirs. Nothing about our posessions is eternal. The only things that matter in this life, are the things that are done for Jesus Christ. 

The faces of Selly and Isaac are already seared into my mind. They will be in our thoughts and prayers. They will receive letters and birthday gifts from us. What a privilege, thank you God.

"Show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your kingdoms cause." Hosanna by Hillsong

God's heart breaks when He sees his precious children alone, hungry and hurting. True love is sacrifice. What are you sacrificing for the cause of the kingdom?

My favorite kind of day

Today was just one of those days when at the end of it you say "That was good". This morning I took Javen to the park to enjoy some of this autumn-like weather we are being blessed with mid-August. Then I used his nap-time this afternoon to finish up 2 paintings that will be headed to Areopagus tomorrow morning. I have wasted a couple of canvases over the past few weeks, trying to force myself to be inspired. They didn't turn out well, but I am happy with these two! These pieces will be on display at Areopagus coffee shop, and are available for purchase. Photographs don't really do justice to the details and texture. Drop me a comment for details and pricing! And to top it all off, tonight is KYC where I know I will get to soak in the presence of God...my favorite place to be.